...But what can he do? The last person who should be here wiling away what little time she has left is Mio. Adela said they didn't have to stay here if they didn't want to, but she couldn't tell him how to return back home. Then, perhaps—]
There must be a way to send you back home. I'll speak to them— Adela and Makima. If there's a cost to be paid, I'll pay it. Simple as that.
They already told us. At least, it's the price for the only way out they've found. [She's still somewhat enflamed thinking of her declaration to Adela that they might just teach themselves to fly.
But the unacceptable solution in front of them still takes three weeks - half of what she has - and eternity isn't any faster.]
You've never wanted any more death. [Even when they first met, he was like that... killing for survival, with far less vengeful pleasure in it than any of the rest of them. Before, when Mio saw an enemy, she saw something to throw herself at until one or both of them stopped moving; after so much senseless loss she only felt the desire to claw her way through any Kevesi in front of her.] And besides...
I think someone should still be here, to keep playing my flute.
[Isn't there always? Isn't there? And if there isn't, then so be it. Neither of them are strangers to debts paid in blood.
You've never wanted any more death. No, no, he hasn't, but when has his want for peace ever mattered to the world? To their world? To this world?
Noah doesn't want death, and yet that's all that's ever demanded of them. Death after death after death. Senseless murder after senseless murder. But if Mio can escape from this place unscathed without needlessly soiling her hands, then—]
Your flute...
[Something hard settles in Noah's throat. Words don't come easy. Her flute, Miyabi's flute, was taken from him, but...]
...I've lost it. The flute that meant so much to you.
[Having something precious taken from you is no different than losing it. All that means is Noah failed to protect something that meant the world to Mio. No one else can be blamed.]
I won't humor what you've just said. You're staying here, Mio. You're living out every day you have left. Even if I can't carry your tune forward, I insist on that much.
...Of course I'm staying. I still want to go a little further...as far as I can. [She's afraid of what's on the other side of that, the utterly blank nothingness she pictures in her head when she thinks of the end of her last term, but that isn't the only reason she wants to keep going.]
But that means you'll have to keep going, too, because I believe we'll find them again.
[Whatever they try, it should be together, to unite the two pieces that they shared.]
I'm so sorry. I lost yours, too. After I was the one who asked you. [Mio's ears flatten against her head, and she's shrunk down with the guilt of it. Guilt and...something else. It was something so meaningful, but she still let it slip through her fingers - something that wasn't hers to lose.</small.]
[Right. Even with no guarantee that they'll see their personal belongings again, they have to believe that they will. If they give up hope now, they'll lose this battle before it even begins.
I wish I could do something to help. The thought haunts Noah. Plagues him. It's Mio whose flame is close to burning out, but Noah feels the pressure of that utterly blank nothingness encroaching on him too.]
I won't stop. I'll keep going. So will you.
[Noah upturns his palm, offering Mio nothing but his empty hand. Not that long ago, they'd offered each other their livelihoods, their pride and joy, their reason for existing in the form of those flutes, but there is nothing Noah can offer Mio now but himself. He can, if nothing else, share what warmth remains in him and wish in vain that some of his life could be poured into her.]
Besides, I... I can't quite recall the tune. I thought I'd had it ingrained in my mind, but now... It's as if there's a void where that melody used to be. It's hard to put into words.
[She turns her hand out, palm down, and clasps his tightly, fingers curling into his. It's never affected her ability to fight, but she can feel her grip getting weaker recently, an on-and-off unwillingness of her hand to respond to what she wants it to do. Maybe it's just nerves keeping her body from working right.
Hot tears sting at the far corners of her eyes at the thought of their empty hands intertwined. She had lost the part of him that he'd trusted her to carry, and, with the loss of their Ouroboros interlink, it really feels like a piece of him is missing from inside her. With her hand in his, the absence seems much smaller - a reminder that she hasn't lost him, though even she can't explain why it worries her more than the loss of her diary or her own Blade.
Whatever else there may be to say on the subject, it's quickly put aside. Noah, who once held his flute before him and said it was his passion in life, can't have just let it slip through his fingers.]
That's not like you. [Her forehead scrunched, concern clear in her golden eyes.] Do you remember how to play, or is it all music?
[Her grip... it feels a bit weak. Noah had wondered if approaching the end of her life had affected her health in any way, but Noah can feel it now. She would hold on tighter if she could, he's sure, and that troubles him. The weight of her remaining time bears down all the more heavily on him.
The theater lights dim and the projector comes on, the movie beginning, but Noah pays it no mind. They can watch "From Skyscrapers to Sunsets: Love Blooms on the Ranch" some other time.
Noah tightens his grip on Mio's hand.]
No, I suppose it isn't. Offseeing... For a long time, I considered it my passion. My reason to exist.
[And now that reason is gone. He shakes his head.]
I'm not certain. My fingers may remember the melody, but with no means to practice, I can't say for sure. I do remember the Agnus tune, at least.
[For a long time, I considered it my passion. My reason to exist. They're seeking purpose beyond what war forced onto them, now, but he'd always been trying to touch people with his song. Mio recalls how humiliating it had been to be assigned to the Offseer rank after how hard she'd trained. No matter how differently she feels now, it seems unfair that he's the one to have had this taken away from him.
She turns sideways in her seat, the preamble of the film going ignored despite its unusual spectacle (it's just a bunch of names displaying rapidly over the picture?) in light of looking up at his face, instead.]
You really are kind. You've always been trying to reach others, haven't you? [Even when they might struggle to understand or disagree with him...it means more to him that he does it.] That's why you'll write your own music, too, one day. But in the meantime... I can probably recall the Kevesi tune until you need it.
[Trying to reach others... It's a bit embarrassing to admit, but he can't deny that when Mio knows the way he thinks. To a degree, she must understand how he feels too.
He hesitates to answer for a moment, but ultimately nods. As he scours his mind for the right words, his thumb absently traces over the back of Mio's hand.]
That's all I've ever wanted to do. But I've begun to wonder if there's a reason why I've forgotten something so vital. If I'm meant to spend my life in the service of others, why has my means of doing that been taken from me? It doesn't seem like a coincidence. I feel like... maybe I'm not meant to recall that tune.
[Because the theater is so dark, it's relatively cool - at least, it feels that way to Mio. His words are like a gusting current of hot air blown across her, though, all the warmth radiating from his thumb on the back of her hand. He's trying to turn the loss into an opportunity, isn't he? That's...good. It's good. Why, then, does he sound so lost?]
Maybe one day, once we've gotten to the bottom of everything, there won't be any need for Offseers. When there's no more fighting, no more killing each other, no more battlefields of husks to play for. [It's the only time she knows that they've ever been needed, though it's strange, how the calling had felt more important than that.]
What you want to do until that time... That should be for you to decide. Choosing for yourself doesn't mean you don't care for others.
[One of Mio's small fangs touches her lower lip, leaving a pensive dent. She thinks it would be better if he made that choice only after he had all the information. Should they let go of their memories so easily? There's been so much senseless pain, but carrying the leftover hopes and dreams shouldn't feel like a burden.]
Do you ever think about who our songs are for? The only people around to hear it are those who have heard it countless times before. They're so used to it that I wonder if our music could ever reach them.
[To be unable to reach anyone, unable to truly connect with them, is one of Noah's greatest fears. Before, he'd been content just knowing that his song held the power to set lost souls free. Before, it was enough to feel that he was doing good in the world.]
Without that... all I have are my words. If they could reach someone, anyone, and stick there in their heart, then it won't have mattered that I've forgotten how to play. I'd feel fulfilled if even one person carried my words with them forever.
[Noah exhales a sigh, only realizing he had after it's gone whistling past his lips.]
I'm sorry. I'd meant to bring you here to help you feel better, but now I've burdened you further, haven't I? You can be honest.
You haven't. If you're feeling these things, then I want to hear them. Becoming Ouroboros together only gave us a headstart. There are things we're still figuring out.
[That's why she wants to understand his position. It isn't just about working better together, but about wanting to see him smile and not hesitate. Eventually, she'll leave him behind, but until then, she'll go as far with him as she can... It's preferable to feeling like he's watching the hourglass drain over her head.
Noah's feelings may not be a burden to her, but for him to have forgotten something so ingrained... Mio's free hand lifts and curls by her face.]
But I have to wonder... do you think it's the same for more of us? Have we all lost memories? I can't think of anything I've forgotten... [She chuckles, though not with any particular humor, just at the ridiculousness of such a statement.] Now that I've said it out loud, it sounds kind of dumb.
[The problem is that he feels the weight of his own feelings more keenly with Mio than he does with anyone else. Noah has always tried to work through personal dilemmas on his own to spare his friends the unnecessary drama, but Mio...
...They may no longer be able to Interlink, but they hold parts of one another inside of themselves. If he can confide in anyone, it ought to be her. It can only be her.
Noah exhales, leaning back against the couch. What glimpses he steals of the movie are so foreign to him, almost nonsensical, and yet another reminder of how their world is truly the odd one out.]
I would imagine we're all in the same predicament. At least in our case, we may be able to recall what the other has forgotten. You may not know what gaps there are in your memory, but I will.
[Her attention is equally divided from the screen, but the occasional line of dialogue manages to filter through. Sometimes action flashes on screen that she can't fully ignore. This is how people are really meant to be. The words of that man, Vandham, ring in her mind whenever she sees something so unfamiliar pass across the screen. Is this the same? Are people really meant to live that way? Stronger than the curiosity is an ever-growing sense of longing for something she doesn't even know how to describe.]
Fair enough. We've both seen a lot of each other's memories. Even if they're hard to parse, it's better than nothing. So... I'll remember the rest for you, too, until you're ready to make a choice.
[Mio covers her chest with her free hand, a gesture of earnestness more than the Agnian salute. His doubts about being an Offseer... she can't dispel them for him. But this? She can do that much.]
[No. You have no idea how much it means to me that you've kept my memories with you.
...Noah rethinks speaking those words aloud. They're heavy, perhaps too heavy, to speak at a time like this. In lieu of words, he brings their joined hands onto his lap and squeezes Mio's tighter.]
You've done a lot for me. [More than you know.] Thank you, Mio. I think, much as I'd rather not be here, at least we're together. I'd be worrying about your whereabouts near constantly otherwise.
[Mio lets her hand be moved and leaves it there, shifting so their fingers can fully lace together.]
Me too. [Eventually, he'll have to move on - they all will - and leave her behind. For once, she's the one who thinks, we still have a few weeks, bitter and burnt as it is in her mouth. Still. Still. Like it can be comforting.]
I'm worried about the others, too, but as long as they're still together or can find each other again, I have faith that they'll be strong enough to make it through. [She leans in a little as if she's about to share a conspiracy.] Maybe they'll give your sword a new name. [They'll need it to continue the fight with Moebius for however long the two of them are gone. She has hope that they'll be able to make use of it.
She wishes she could have said goodbye to them, just in case.]
[Ah, his sword. She's never let that go, has she? Noah smiles a bit awkwardly, much of it obscured in the dimly lit room.]
If they get their hands on it, they're more than welcome to. I'm sure they'd pick a suitable name.
[And he's comfortable leaving all discussion of the sword that shall not be named alone to focus his attention strictly on the movie!! Which, speaking of that...]
...That woman is from the "big city". She couldn't be talking about the city, could she? All those towering buildings... She must be someplace different.
[Ah... now that she's learned more about that sort of thing, she needs to break the news to him as well. Mio looks a little disappointed. At least it's knowledge he can use in the future.]
Apparently, cities are common things in most worlds. There's even a man here who says he's from the City, but it doesn't sound anything like what's on Aionios.
Thousands or even millions of people all live together in them...can you imagine? It makes sense for the buildings to be so large to house so many.
They must have someone. I can't imagine not having any guidance at all.
[She watches the people mill about, some of them idle, some of them hard at work. Almost everyone on screen seems to be running on their own timeline. It's only the main woman - the one the picture keeps following - who seems about to buckle from the stress of hers.]
It looks like they have a lot of freedom to choose where and what they want to be, though.
[They all seem to be living unique lives, the central woman included, which is its own kind of mindfuck. If they aren't all working together, what are they building towards...?
The movie's just begun and already Noah is lost deep in thought. He's slow to react to Mio's statement, so thoroughly mired in all the questions circling his mind.]
Huh? Oh, right. They do. But that lady seems stressed out despite that. She has so much freedom over her own life, but she's unhappy.
[He's back to getting too deep into his thoughts again. It only took a few moments. For Mio, too, it's difficult to focus on anything beyond the stark, strange differences. Should she want a life like that one?]
I guess if you're used to it... you'll still have your own problems, won't you? Even if you're free. You must still have some expectation for how your life is supposed to proceed, especially seeing so many people go through it.
[Her head leans to the side and rests on his shoulder. Their hands are already clasped, and Mio isn't sure how else to indicate that he needn't sit alone with his thoughts like this.]
[There's entirely too much to think about, but Noah doesn't particularly mind having this much food for thought. He may end up losing sleep with all these questions knocking around in his head, but with nothing urgent to attend to in the morning, there are certainly worse fates.
Noah hums, gaze lost in the wrinkles of consternation that seem like permanent fixtures on the lead woman's face.]
I can see that. A different life doesn't necessarily mean one free of complication. Her problems are just different from ours, I'd imagine. She's fighting different battles.
[When Mio rests her temple on his shoulder, Noah stiffens, his immediate thought being that he's in her way, but... if Mio thought so, she wouldn't hesitate to nudge him over or say so. Maybe she's tired? Maybe the viewing angle is better this way?
...At any rate, he'll try not to think overly hard over that as well, relaxing his shoulders.]
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no subject
...But what can he do? The last person who should be here wiling away what little time she has left is Mio. Adela said they didn't have to stay here if they didn't want to, but she couldn't tell him how to return back home. Then, perhaps—]
There must be a way to send you back home. I'll speak to them— Adela and Makima. If there's a cost to be paid, I'll pay it. Simple as that.
no subject
But the unacceptable solution in front of them still takes three weeks - half of what she has - and eternity isn't any faster.]
You've never wanted any more death. [Even when they first met, he was like that... killing for survival, with far less vengeful pleasure in it than any of the rest of them. Before, when Mio saw an enemy, she saw something to throw herself at until one or both of them stopped moving; after so much senseless loss she only felt the desire to claw her way through any Kevesi in front of her.] And besides...
I think someone should still be here, to keep playing my flute.
no subject
[Isn't there always? Isn't there? And if there isn't, then so be it. Neither of them are strangers to debts paid in blood.
You've never wanted any more death. No, no, he hasn't, but when has his want for peace ever mattered to the world? To their world? To this world?
Noah doesn't want death, and yet that's all that's ever demanded of them. Death after death after death. Senseless murder after senseless murder. But if Mio can escape from this place unscathed without needlessly soiling her hands, then—]
Your flute...
[Something hard settles in Noah's throat. Words don't come easy. Her flute, Miyabi's flute, was taken from him, but...]
...I've lost it. The flute that meant so much to you.
[Having something precious taken from you is no different than losing it. All that means is Noah failed to protect something that meant the world to Mio. No one else can be blamed.]
I won't humor what you've just said. You're staying here, Mio. You're living out every day you have left. Even if I can't carry your tune forward, I insist on that much.
no subject
But that means you'll have to keep going, too, because I believe we'll find them again.
[Whatever they try, it should be together, to unite the two pieces that they shared.]
I'm so sorry. I lost yours, too. After I was the one who asked you. [Mio's ears flatten against her head, and she's shrunk down with the guilt of it. Guilt and...something else. It was something so meaningful, but she still let it slip through her fingers - something that wasn't hers to lose.</small.]
no subject
I wish I could do something to help. The thought haunts Noah. Plagues him. It's Mio whose flame is close to burning out, but Noah feels the pressure of that utterly blank nothingness encroaching on him too.]
I won't stop. I'll keep going. So will you.
[Noah upturns his palm, offering Mio nothing but his empty hand. Not that long ago, they'd offered each other their livelihoods, their pride and joy, their reason for existing in the form of those flutes, but there is nothing Noah can offer Mio now but himself. He can, if nothing else, share what warmth remains in him and wish in vain that some of his life could be poured into her.]
Besides, I... I can't quite recall the tune. I thought I'd had it ingrained in my mind, but now... It's as if there's a void where that melody used to be. It's hard to put into words.
no subject
Hot tears sting at the far corners of her eyes at the thought of their empty hands intertwined. She had lost the part of him that he'd trusted her to carry, and, with the loss of their Ouroboros interlink, it really feels like a piece of him is missing from inside her. With her hand in his, the absence seems much smaller - a reminder that she hasn't lost him, though even she can't explain why it worries her more than the loss of her diary or her own Blade.
Whatever else there may be to say on the subject, it's quickly put aside. Noah, who once held his flute before him and said it was his passion in life, can't have just let it slip through his fingers.]
That's not like you. [Her forehead scrunched, concern clear in her golden eyes.] Do you remember how to play, or is it all music?
no subject
The theater lights dim and the projector comes on, the movie beginning, but Noah pays it no mind. They can watch "From Skyscrapers to Sunsets: Love Blooms on the Ranch" some other time.
Noah tightens his grip on Mio's hand.]
No, I suppose it isn't. Offseeing... For a long time, I considered it my passion. My reason to exist.
[And now that reason is gone. He shakes his head.]
I'm not certain. My fingers may remember the melody, but with no means to practice, I can't say for sure. I do remember the Agnus tune, at least.
no subject
She turns sideways in her seat, the preamble of the film going ignored despite its unusual spectacle (it's just a bunch of names displaying rapidly over the picture?) in light of looking up at his face, instead.]
You really are kind. You've always been trying to reach others, haven't you? [Even when they might struggle to understand or disagree with him...it means more to him that he does it.] That's why you'll write your own music, too, one day. But in the meantime... I can probably recall the Kevesi tune until you need it.
no subject
He hesitates to answer for a moment, but ultimately nods. As he scours his mind for the right words, his thumb absently traces over the back of Mio's hand.]
That's all I've ever wanted to do. But I've begun to wonder if there's a reason why I've forgotten something so vital. If I'm meant to spend my life in the service of others, why has my means of doing that been taken from me? It doesn't seem like a coincidence. I feel like... maybe I'm not meant to recall that tune.
no subject
Maybe one day, once we've gotten to the bottom of everything, there won't be any need for Offseers. When there's no more fighting, no more killing each other, no more battlefields of husks to play for. [It's the only time she knows that they've ever been needed, though it's strange, how the calling had felt more important than that.]
What you want to do until that time... That should be for you to decide. Choosing for yourself doesn't mean you don't care for others.
[One of Mio's small fangs touches her lower lip, leaving a pensive dent. She thinks it would be better if he made that choice only after he had all the information. Should they let go of their memories so easily? There's been so much senseless pain, but carrying the leftover hopes and dreams shouldn't feel like a burden.]
no subject
[To be unable to reach anyone, unable to truly connect with them, is one of Noah's greatest fears. Before, he'd been content just knowing that his song held the power to set lost souls free. Before, it was enough to feel that he was doing good in the world.]
Without that... all I have are my words. If they could reach someone, anyone, and stick there in their heart, then it won't have mattered that I've forgotten how to play. I'd feel fulfilled if even one person carried my words with them forever.
[Noah exhales a sigh, only realizing he had after it's gone whistling past his lips.]
I'm sorry. I'd meant to bring you here to help you feel better, but now I've burdened you further, haven't I? You can be honest.
no subject
[That's why she wants to understand his position. It isn't just about working better together, but about wanting to see him smile and not hesitate. Eventually, she'll leave him behind, but until then, she'll go as far with him as she can... It's preferable to feeling like he's watching the hourglass drain over her head.
Noah's feelings may not be a burden to her, but for him to have forgotten something so ingrained... Mio's free hand lifts and curls by her face.]
But I have to wonder... do you think it's the same for more of us? Have we all lost memories? I can't think of anything I've forgotten... [She chuckles, though not with any particular humor, just at the ridiculousness of such a statement.] Now that I've said it out loud, it sounds kind of dumb.
no subject
...They may no longer be able to Interlink, but they hold parts of one another inside of themselves. If he can confide in anyone, it ought to be her. It can only be her.
Noah exhales, leaning back against the couch. What glimpses he steals of the movie are so foreign to him, almost nonsensical, and yet another reminder of how their world is truly the odd one out.]
I would imagine we're all in the same predicament. At least in our case, we may be able to recall what the other has forgotten. You may not know what gaps there are in your memory, but I will.
no subject
Fair enough. We've both seen a lot of each other's memories. Even if they're hard to parse, it's better than nothing. So... I'll remember the rest for you, too, until you're ready to make a choice.
[Mio covers her chest with her free hand, a gesture of earnestness more than the Agnian salute. His doubts about being an Offseer... she can't dispel them for him. But this? She can do that much.]
no subject
[No. You have no idea how much it means to me that you've kept my memories with you.
...Noah rethinks speaking those words aloud. They're heavy, perhaps too heavy, to speak at a time like this. In lieu of words, he brings their joined hands onto his lap and squeezes Mio's tighter.]
You've done a lot for me. [More than you know.] Thank you, Mio. I think, much as I'd rather not be here, at least we're together. I'd be worrying about your whereabouts near constantly otherwise.
no subject
Me too. [Eventually, he'll have to move on - they all will - and leave her behind. For once, she's the one who thinks, we still have a few weeks, bitter and burnt as it is in her mouth. Still. Still. Like it can be comforting.]
I'm worried about the others, too, but as long as they're still together or can find each other again, I have faith that they'll be strong enough to make it through. [She leans in a little as if she's about to share a conspiracy.] Maybe they'll give your sword a new name. [They'll need it to continue the fight with Moebius for however long the two of them are gone. She has hope that they'll be able to make use of it.
She wishes she could have said goodbye to them, just in case.]
no subject
If they get their hands on it, they're more than welcome to. I'm sure they'd pick a suitable name.
[And he's comfortable leaving all discussion of the sword that shall not be named alone to focus his attention strictly on the movie!! Which, speaking of that...]
...That woman is from the "big city". She couldn't be talking about the city, could she? All those towering buildings... She must be someplace different.
no subject
Apparently, cities are common things in most worlds. There's even a man here who says he's from the City, but it doesn't sound anything like what's on Aionios.
Thousands or even millions of people all live together in them...can you imagine? It makes sense for the buildings to be so large to house so many.
no subject
[Everything they're seeing on screen feels so alien, but Noah can't wrap his mind around so many people occupying the same space.]
It's like each of those towering buildings is its own castle. Do you think someone is at the top overseeing everyone who lives within it?
no subject
[She watches the people mill about, some of them idle, some of them hard at work. Almost everyone on screen seems to be running on their own timeline. It's only the main woman - the one the picture keeps following - who seems about to buckle from the stress of hers.]
It looks like they have a lot of freedom to choose where and what they want to be, though.
no subject
The movie's just begun and already Noah is lost deep in thought. He's slow to react to Mio's statement, so thoroughly mired in all the questions circling his mind.]
Huh? Oh, right. They do. But that lady seems stressed out despite that. She has so much freedom over her own life, but she's unhappy.
no subject
I guess if you're used to it... you'll still have your own problems, won't you? Even if you're free. You must still have some expectation for how your life is supposed to proceed, especially seeing so many people go through it.
[Her head leans to the side and rests on his shoulder. Their hands are already clasped, and Mio isn't sure how else to indicate that he needn't sit alone with his thoughts like this.]
no subject
Noah hums, gaze lost in the wrinkles of consternation that seem like permanent fixtures on the lead woman's face.]
I can see that. A different life doesn't necessarily mean one free of complication. Her problems are just different from ours, I'd imagine. She's fighting different battles.
[When Mio rests her temple on his shoulder, Noah stiffens, his immediate thought being that he's in her way, but... if Mio thought so, she wouldn't hesitate to nudge him over or say so. Maybe she's tired? Maybe the viewing angle is better this way?
...At any rate, he'll try not to think overly hard over that as well, relaxing his shoulders.]