[Mio props herself up, then flips over so she can face him fully. Her legs niche around his, creating a space where they can sit close together.]
But you did. [It seems silly to say with her face swollen like this, but it's an earnest declaration.] I...heard your voice. It was the first thing I heard after I was hit.
[Mio takes up Noah's hands in her own. She runs her thumbs along his palms, laces their fingers together, brings his knuckles to her mouth to gently kiss them. His hands are capable of so much more than he's letting himself see.]
If I hadn't heard it, I don't think I'd have been able to go on.
[It seems like such a simple thing, calling out to her as he always has. For something so simple to mean so much... That's a harder pill to swallow. But regardless of Noah's reservations, he takes Mio's word as the truth. His trust for her is implicit, her words things he never questions. The one he doesn't trust here is himself.
Another deep breath, then, to steady himself. His fingers tighten around Mio's. His thumbs skim the backs of her hands, memorizing every knuckle and tendon, committing every bit of her to memory. Soon enough, memories are all he'll have.]
Nearly losing you made me question so many things. What I would do in a world without you, if I'm at all prepared for you to leave. In so many ways... you've become my reason to exist. My happiness.
[It's such an intense declaration that it takes her breath away. She's overwhelmed. It's so unexpected and powerful. She never thought about what it might feel like to be something else than what she was, to be something to someone. It makes her chest feel hot and tight, her heart thrumming in a way he might be able to sense even with some space still between them.
She's also frightened. Noah's tying himself up in her, and she has to understand that the warm constriction around her heart is also one of worry for how far that will go. Mio pulls his hands to her, holding them over her chest. The cracked core crystal. The pounding heart.]
I don't want to be your happiness. I want to make you happy. [While it might seem like that's the same thing with different phrasing, Mio knows it's completely different. Happiness is a thing she wants to give him that he can nurture and grow and hold - a tree that can grow stronger and send its roots deep enough to never fade away.]
[Her heart thuds beneath his fingertips, each beat like the ticking of a clock counting down, down, to the end they know is coming. They can do nothing about it. No amount of pleading, praying, and wishing will make time stop.
He's alone in that wish.
Noah wants to shut himself up until this torrent of emotion passes, until the wave swells and crests and he's not longer at risk of shouting, crying, losing himself to his feelings. Would be nice if he had that sort of restraint right now, but he doesn't.]
You do, Mio. You know it too, don't you?
[He seeks out her hands and squeezes them tight. His eyes burn. They're misting over. His voice is shaking again. It's fine. If anyone can see him weak, vulnerable, and scared, it's Mio. Only and always Mio.]
You mean everything to me, and even when you've gone and left, you'll still be the person I love. That's why... I want to make as many memories with you as we can with the time we have left. Understand?
[Of course she makes him happy, but she has to know just how big of an impact she's left on him. This, too, is part of her legacy.]
[If she's left an impact on Noah, then the impact he's left on her is just as deep. Maybe she's always wanted more, but she'd never realized it until they'd met. It'd never been something worth considering because it had been impossible - as impossible as Keves and Agnus cooperating or destroying the Flame Clocks. The impossible has already happened, and she's already had more with him.
Holding hands isn't enough. Brushing his fingers away from hers, she wraps her arms around Noah instead, pulling him into the tightest embrace that she can. The bruises on her head protest when she snuggles it into his chest, but she presses on regardless. She does understand.
Ever since That Night, she's tried to keep herself from being too selfish. She tried not to let the fear and desperation grow too much in case it made her lash out at him or crumbled either of their resolves. Here, with her face pressed into Noah's chest, she lets herself be selfish again.]
... Could you say it again, please? [She's shaking a little.] That you love me?
[His arms don't hesitate to wrap around her, one hand cradling the nape of her neck, the other her back. What would it take to make this moment their permanent reality? No matter the cost, there's no point in speculating. Forever isn't what Mio wants. It couldn't possibly be, and that's where the two of them will always differ.
So it goes. Noah's as mindful of the bruises as he can be without letting go of Mio even for a second, fingertips tangling into her hair, stroking down her skin.]
I love you. More than anything, more than anyone. I love you so much I can hardly stand it.
[And with that admittance, the tears break loose and spill down his cheeks, hot and stinging.]
So... no matter what happens, never question that you were well-loved. I'll carry that love with me for the rest of my life, Mio.
[Just because she doesn't want him to lose sight of what's important to give her forever doesn't mean Mio doesn't understand. It doesn't mean that she doesn't want more time. What if they could live as long as Guernica Vandham had lived?
I love you. She's been so afraid of those words even before she fully knew what they meant. When the feelings she'd had no name for started to blossom and grow within her, she'd been hesitant to acknowledge them. Even despite encouragement, she'd wondered if it was best to keep this secret to herself forever. To not hurt him. To set him free.
As she feels the ghost of his tears rain down on her, she lifts her head from his chest to look at him. His shirt is damp where she leaves it.]
I love you too, Noah. And... I know. I know you'll keep me with you. I can't promise not to go away, but... what we've shared, that part of me never will.
[Mio leans up and kisses him, tender despite how raw and forceful it is.]
[There's no fixing the dam now that it's broken open wide. Noah can list on one hand the number of times he's been this overwhelmed, this consumed by emotion, the last vestiges of his resolve crumbling beneath the weight of their kiss.
There's no resistance left in Noah, no reason to act as if he's any stronger than he is. Tipping them back onto the mattress, Noah throws all propriety aside and deepens their kiss, fingertips pouring over every inch of Mio they can reach. Between every kiss, Noah's desperation, his desire, his pain, gutters out of him in harsh whispers.]
I love you, I love you—
[No matter where you go, please don't forget that. Don't forget me.
His fingertips fixate on her core crystal, on every patch of bare skin, in the warmth of her cheeks when he holds her in their kiss. If he can do nothing else, he can show Mio what love looks like when it has nowhere else to do. If nothing else, he can ensure she passes on knowing she meant the entire world to the person she loves.]
[It's sudden, but it isn't really sudden at all. When enough is poured into a container that can't possibly hold it all, what else can it do but overflow? The fear she's been bottling up and the pain and the love all come crashing together into a singular desperation: to be here, with him, at this moment.
She leans into each kiss hungrily. Even with very little practice, they've come a long way ing confidence and skill. She doesn't feel any hesitation about letting his tongue slip against hers or drawing his lip into her mouth to suck on it slightly. What had once felt like such a messy, weird thing now feels easy and natural, even with the added salt and wetness from their tears. She chases his hands with her own, stroking his fingers and following each touch with its own, ghosting mirror against him. The ghost of his love follows him even as Mio tilts his head, ensuring she can look straight into his eyes.]
I know, Noah. I love you, too...so don't cry. Please don't cry, [she implores him, crying.]
[What more can he do? Noah feels helpless, so helpless, with no way to protect and save the person who matters to him most. All he can do is impress upon her how much he loves her in the hopes that, wherever she goes after death, the memory of his love will remain with her. Selfish as his desire is, Noah wants little else.
It's that desperation that fuels him, hands drawn to every inch of unmarred skin, sliding up the sides of her thighs where her dress has ridden up. It rises like bile in his throat, the question of if she'll carry his love with her to the grave, if she'll think of him in her final moments. Selfish, selfish, selfish.
His fingers find her hip and dig into it. Is he being too rough? He hasn't noticed. Her voice cuts through his fugue, but his kisses don't slow, and neither do his touches. He acknowledges her with a hum at first but acquiesces, breaking their kiss just long enough to answer.]
[He's so stubborn... but she can but just as obstinate as he can sometimes. They have many small differences in their personalities, but this is one way they're very much the same.]
That's not fair. The same should go for you. [It's hard to stop crying when she knows he's also sad and in pain. Surely even at his most stubborn, Noah must have some idea. How is she supposed to reassure him? How can she make him feel better? All she can think of right now is how much she wants to give herself to him, every bit for him to treasure.
Noah's hands bear down on her, bruising in their love. It's rough in a way she hasn't felt from him before, but despite the surprise of it, it doesn't hurt. Her own hands slide along the waistband of his jeans, fingering the belt loops and dipping into the slight curve of his back pockets. For one particularly rough kiss, she squeezes his butt. It's so pinchable normally, so tempting to gently slap with the palm of her hand, but it would ruin a moment like this.
Nine could be home soon, or he could be out all night. She doesn't want to be inconsiderate... but she also wants this time with Noah to linger. It's an eternal conflict: She wants the immediacy, wants the now of him touching her more and more as fast as possible, but she also wants to feel every second. Mio works away from his waistband to begin untucking his shirt, nails teasing his skin the way she now knows he likes.]
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no subject
But you did. [It seems silly to say with her face swollen like this, but it's an earnest declaration.] I...heard your voice. It was the first thing I heard after I was hit.
[Mio takes up Noah's hands in her own. She runs her thumbs along his palms, laces their fingers together, brings his knuckles to her mouth to gently kiss them. His hands are capable of so much more than he's letting himself see.]
If I hadn't heard it, I don't think I'd have been able to go on.
no subject
[It seems like such a simple thing, calling out to her as he always has. For something so simple to mean so much... That's a harder pill to swallow. But regardless of Noah's reservations, he takes Mio's word as the truth. His trust for her is implicit, her words things he never questions. The one he doesn't trust here is himself.
Another deep breath, then, to steady himself. His fingers tighten around Mio's. His thumbs skim the backs of her hands, memorizing every knuckle and tendon, committing every bit of her to memory. Soon enough, memories are all he'll have.]
Nearly losing you made me question so many things. What I would do in a world without you, if I'm at all prepared for you to leave. In so many ways... you've become my reason to exist. My happiness.
no subject
She's also frightened. Noah's tying himself up in her, and she has to understand that the warm constriction around her heart is also one of worry for how far that will go. Mio pulls his hands to her, holding them over her chest. The cracked core crystal. The pounding heart.]
I don't want to be your happiness. I want to make you happy. [While it might seem like that's the same thing with different phrasing, Mio knows it's completely different. Happiness is a thing she wants to give him that he can nurture and grow and hold - a tree that can grow stronger and send its roots deep enough to never fade away.]
no subject
He's alone in that wish.
Noah wants to shut himself up until this torrent of emotion passes, until the wave swells and crests and he's not longer at risk of shouting, crying, losing himself to his feelings. Would be nice if he had that sort of restraint right now, but he doesn't.]
You do, Mio. You know it too, don't you?
[He seeks out her hands and squeezes them tight. His eyes burn. They're misting over. His voice is shaking again. It's fine. If anyone can see him weak, vulnerable, and scared, it's Mio. Only and always Mio.]
You mean everything to me, and even when you've gone and left, you'll still be the person I love. That's why... I want to make as many memories with you as we can with the time we have left. Understand?
[Of course she makes him happy, but she has to know just how big of an impact she's left on him. This, too, is part of her legacy.]
no subject
Holding hands isn't enough. Brushing his fingers away from hers, she wraps her arms around Noah instead, pulling him into the tightest embrace that she can. The bruises on her head protest when she snuggles it into his chest, but she presses on regardless. She does understand.
Ever since That Night, she's tried to keep herself from being too selfish. She tried not to let the fear and desperation grow too much in case it made her lash out at him or crumbled either of their resolves. Here, with her face pressed into Noah's chest, she lets herself be selfish again.]
... Could you say it again, please? [She's shaking a little.] That you love me?
no subject
So it goes. Noah's as mindful of the bruises as he can be without letting go of Mio even for a second, fingertips tangling into her hair, stroking down her skin.]
I love you. More than anything, more than anyone. I love you so much I can hardly stand it.
[And with that admittance, the tears break loose and spill down his cheeks, hot and stinging.]
So... no matter what happens, never question that you were well-loved. I'll carry that love with me for the rest of my life, Mio.
no subject
I love you. She's been so afraid of those words even before she fully knew what they meant. When the feelings she'd had no name for started to blossom and grow within her, she'd been hesitant to acknowledge them. Even despite encouragement, she'd wondered if it was best to keep this secret to herself forever. To not hurt him. To set him free.
As she feels the ghost of his tears rain down on her, she lifts her head from his chest to look at him. His shirt is damp where she leaves it.]
I love you too, Noah. And... I know. I know you'll keep me with you. I can't promise not to go away, but... what we've shared, that part of me never will.
[Mio leans up and kisses him, tender despite how raw and forceful it is.]
no subject
There's no resistance left in Noah, no reason to act as if he's any stronger than he is. Tipping them back onto the mattress, Noah throws all propriety aside and deepens their kiss, fingertips pouring over every inch of Mio they can reach. Between every kiss, Noah's desperation, his desire, his pain, gutters out of him in harsh whispers.]
I love you, I love you—
[No matter where you go, please don't forget that. Don't forget me.
His fingertips fixate on her core crystal, on every patch of bare skin, in the warmth of her cheeks when he holds her in their kiss. If he can do nothing else, he can show Mio what love looks like when it has nowhere else to do. If nothing else, he can ensure she passes on knowing she meant the entire world to the person she loves.]
no subject
[It's sudden, but it isn't really sudden at all. When enough is poured into a container that can't possibly hold it all, what else can it do but overflow? The fear she's been bottling up and the pain and the love all come crashing together into a singular desperation: to be here, with him, at this moment.
She leans into each kiss hungrily. Even with very little practice, they've come a long way ing confidence and skill. She doesn't feel any hesitation about letting his tongue slip against hers or drawing his lip into her mouth to suck on it slightly. What had once felt like such a messy, weird thing now feels easy and natural, even with the added salt and wetness from their tears. She chases his hands with her own, stroking his fingers and following each touch with its own, ghosting mirror against him. The ghost of his love follows him even as Mio tilts his head, ensuring she can look straight into his eyes.]
I know, Noah. I love you, too...so don't cry. Please don't cry, [she implores him, crying.]
no subject
It's that desperation that fuels him, hands drawn to every inch of unmarred skin, sliding up the sides of her thighs where her dress has ridden up. It rises like bile in his throat, the question of if she'll carry his love with her to the grave, if she'll think of him in her final moments. Selfish, selfish, selfish.
His fingers find her hip and dig into it. Is he being too rough? He hasn't noticed. Her voice cuts through his fugue, but his kisses don't slow, and neither do his touches. He acknowledges her with a hum at first but acquiesces, breaking their kiss just long enough to answer.]
...You're crying too. I'll stop when you do.
[Selfish and stubborn.]
no subject
That's not fair. The same should go for you. [It's hard to stop crying when she knows he's also sad and in pain. Surely even at his most stubborn, Noah must have some idea. How is she supposed to reassure him? How can she make him feel better? All she can think of right now is how much she wants to give herself to him, every bit for him to treasure.
Noah's hands bear down on her, bruising in their love. It's rough in a way she hasn't felt from him before, but despite the surprise of it, it doesn't hurt. Her own hands slide along the waistband of his jeans, fingering the belt loops and dipping into the slight curve of his back pockets. For one particularly rough kiss, she squeezes his butt. It's so pinchable normally, so tempting to gently slap with the palm of her hand, but it would ruin a moment like this.
Nine could be home soon, or he could be out all night. She doesn't want to be inconsiderate... but she also wants this time with Noah to linger. It's an eternal conflict: She wants the immediacy, wants the now of him touching her more and more as fast as possible, but she also wants to feel every second. Mio works away from his waistband to begin untucking his shirt, nails teasing his skin the way she now knows he likes.]